kenny powers quotes

“The Wisdom of Kenny Powers: Top Quotes from the Iconic TV Show”

kenny powers quotes

Kenny Powers is a fictional character in the American comedy television series “Eastbound & Down.” He is a former baseball pitcher who is known for his crude, outrageous, and hilarious quotes that have made him a cult hero among fans of the show.

One of the reasons why Kenny Powers quotes are so popular is that they reflect the way many people feel about life – they are often cynical, sarcastic, and irreverent, but also heartfelt and honest. His quotes often touch on the themes of love, friendship, success, and failure, and resonate with audiences of all ages and backgrounds.

In addition to their entertainment value, Kenny Powers quotes can offer a number of benefits to those who appreciate them. For one, they can provide a source of motivation and inspiration, reminding us to embrace our true selves and not take life too seriously. They can also serve as a form of therapy, allowing us to blow off steam and release pent-up emotions through humor and satire.

Overall, Kenny Powers quotes are an important part of contemporary pop culture, and their popularity is likely to endure for years to come.

1. The Top Kenny Powers Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

If you’re a fan of “Eastbound & Down,” then you’re no stranger to the crude, vulgar, and hilarious quotes of Kenny Powers. The former major league pitcher turned physical education teacher is known for his outrageous behavior and unconventional wisdom, making him one of the most beloved characters in TV history. Here are some of the best quotes from Kenny Powers:

“I play real sports. I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.”

This quote perfectly captures the essence of Kenny Powers, who values practicality and performance over shallow pursuits like fitness. His disregard for exercising and his obsession with winning is what makes him so relatable, and so funny.

“I’m not just sure. I’m HIV positive.”

Kenny’s brutal honesty and unapologetic approach to life often lead to some pretty brutal statements, like this one, where he announces his HIV status to a group of people who didn’t ask. While it’s not a joke to make lightly, in the hands of Kenny Powers, it becomes a laugh-out-loud moment.

“I’ve got a tip for all you dyin’ toppers out there: If you wanna make the human heart race, just utter the words, ‘Babe Ruth was just a man.'”

Babe Ruth is often seen as one of the greatest baseball players of all time, but Kenny Powers isn’t interested in worshiping him. Instead, he prefers to make fun of those who do, reminding us that even the best athletes are just mere mortals.

“I don’t play the field, I rule the field.”

Kenny Powers isn’t just a player, he’s the king of the game. He’s confident, brash, and entirely self-assured, which is why his quotes often sound like brags. Still, you can’t help but admire his bravado and his willingness to put himself out there.

“I’m the man with the ball, and if that don’t make you drool, then you don’t like football.”

Football is a sport that requires skill, strategy, and confidence, and Kenny Powers has all three in spades. This quote is a classic example of his swagger and his determination to be the best, no matter what.

“I may be a terrible person, but at least I’m honest.”

Kenny Powers isn’t perfect, and he knows it. But he’s also not afraid to own up to his faults and admit when he’s wrong. While he might not be the most virtuous character, he’s certainly one of the most self-aware and honest.

“Any man that tries to be funny around me, I’m gonna strangle him.”

When it comes to humor, Kenny Powers isn’t one to mess around. He takes jokes seriously and doesn’t tolerate anyone who tries to be funny around him. Of course, his own jokes are often crude and offensive, but that’s what makes them so funny.

“I’m not a role model…just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”

Kenny Powers isn’t interested in being a role model or setting the right example. Instead, he’s just a guy who enjoys sports and wants to have fun. While he’s not exactly a responsible adult, he’s certainly entertaining to watch.

If you’re a fan of Kenny Powers and “Eastbound & Down,” then these quotes should help you relive some of the show’s most unforgettable moments. Whether you love him or hate him, there’s no denying that he’s one of the most hilarious and outrageous characters in TV history.

The Best Kenny Powers Quotes

Kenny Powers, a hilarious and vulgar character from the hit TV show Eastbound and Down, has become a cult favorite, known for his hilarious one-liners and over-the-top self-confidence. Here are some of the best Kenny Powers quotes.

1. “I’m the man up in this piece, who else would it be?”

This quote is quintessential Kenny Powers. It showcases his outrageous self-confidence, and how he believes he is the king of whatever room he is in. The best part about this quote is the way he phrases it, calling himself “the man up in this piece.” It’s hilarious, and shows that he doesn’t take himself too seriously (even if he thinks he’s the best).

2. “I’m not a role model. I’m a straight-shootin’ son of a bitch.”

This is one of Kenny Powers’ most memorable quotes. It shows that he is unapologetically himself, and isn’t interested in being anyone else’s idea of a “role model.” Instead, he’s a “son of a bitch,” which is an insult that he wears like a badge of honor. He’s proud to be who he is, and this quote is a testament to that.

3. “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”

This quote is another great example of Kenny Powers’ confidence. He doesn’t care about “exercising” or working out just for the sake of it. Instead, he wants to play “real sports,” which he believes include things like baseball and football. It’s a hilarious take on the fitness and health industry, and shows Kenny’s disdain for anything that he deems to be fake or superficial.

4. “I don’t need no stinkin’ comeback.”

This quote comes from a particularly memorable episode of Eastbound and Down, where Kenny Powers is retired and living a quiet life. When people try to convince him to come out of retirement and return to baseball, he replies with this quote. It’s funny because it’s a play on the classic movie quote “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” It also shows that Kenny is content with his current life, and doesn’t feel the need to return to glory.

5. “I’m not rich, I’m wealthy. There’s a difference, you know.”

This quote is a great example of Kenny Powers’ delusions of grandeur. He doesn’t consider himself “rich” like everyone else – he’s “wealthy,” which to him means something different entirely. It’s a ridiculous statement, but it’s also funny because it shows how Kenny Powers views himself as being above everyone else.

6. “I play by my own rules. Nobody else’s. Not even my own.”

This quote is another great example of Kenny’s confidence. He doesn’t follow anyone else’s rules, including his own. It’s a statement that showcases his wild and unpredictable nature, and his willingness to take risks. It also shows that Kenny Powers is unapologetically himself, no matter what.

7. “I’m not saying I invented the wheel, but I was the first person to put spinners on it.”

This quote is a hilarious take on the commonly-used phrase “I’m not saying I invented the wheel, but…”. Instead of finishing the sentence in a serious way, Kenny Powers takes it to a ridiculous extreme by claiming he was the first person to put spinners on the wheel (referring to the popular car accessory). It’s a great example of Kenny’s unique sense of humor, and his ability to turn a serious phrase into a joke.


Kenny Powers is known for his outrageous personality and memorable quotes. These seven quotes are just a small sampling of the hilarious things that come out of his mouth. Whether he’s insulting someone or complimenting himself, Kenny Powers always manages to make us laugh.

Kenny Powers Motivational Quotes

Kenny Powers may not be the most politically correct character, but he sure knows how to get people fired up and inspired. From his days as a baseball superstar to his stint as a physical education teacher, his words of wisdom have resonated with fans worldwide. Here are some of his most motivational quotes that will make you want to conquer the world:

1. “You gotta believe.”

This quote may seem simple, but it’s a powerful reminder that belief and confidence are key to success. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? Kenny Powers knew the importance of having a positive mindset and always instilled that in others. Whether you’re starting a new project or embarking on a career change, remember that you have to believe in yourself and your abilities to make things happen.

2. “You gotta learn to be kind to yourself.”

Kenny Powers knows firsthand the ups and downs of life, but he also knows the importance of self-care. It’s essential to learn how to be kind to yourself, especially during times of stress and chaos. Whether it’s taking a break, going for a walk, or indulging in your favorite hobby, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Remember, the more you take care of yourself, the better equipped you’ll be to tackle life’s challenges.

3. “Don’t be a loser. Put that coffee down.”

While this quote may seem aggressive, it’s a powerful reminder that we all have the power to make choices that impact our lives. Whether it’s staying up too late or indulging in unhealthy habits, we have the power to break free and make positive changes. So put that coffee down (or whatever else is holding you back) and go out and conquer the day!

These are just a few of Kenny Powers’ most motivational quotes, but they speak volumes about the importance of self-belief, self-care, and taking action. So the next time you’re feeling down or in need of an extra push, remember Kenny’s words of wisdom and get ready to take on the world!

Classic Kenny Powers One-Liners

Kenny Powers is one of the most quotable characters in television history. His outrageous and over-the-top attitude, combined with his razor-sharp wit, has made him a fan favorite. Here are some of his classic one-liners that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

“I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”

This line perfectly captures Kenny’s disdain for conventional ways of staying fit. For him, it’s not about running on a treadmill or going to the gym. It’s about playing real sports and pushing your body to the limit.

“You can’t say ‘Hey, everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!’.”

Delivered in a classic Kenny Powers deadpan, this line is all about his ego. He wants people to look up to him and respect him. He doesn’t want to be just another guy in the crowd. He wants to be the king, the alpha male, the guy who makes things happen.

“I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to be a champion.”

Kenny is all about winning. He’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top, even if it means sacrificing friendships or relationships. For him, the end justifies the means.

“I’m Kenny Powers, and I’m gonna be pitching for the Myrtle Beach Mermen.”

This line is Kenny’s introduction to the world, and it sets the tone for everything that comes after. It’s brash, overconfident, and totally ridiculous. But that’s just how Kenny rolls.

Kenny Powers is a truly original character, and his one-liners will go down in history as some of the funniest and most memorable moments in television. If you’re ever feeling down, just remember: WWKD? What would Kenny do? The answer is always hilarious.

Kenny Powers’ Wisdom on Love and Relationships

Kenny Powers may not be the traditional romantic hero, but he definitely has some wisdom to share when it comes to love and relationships. From his fiery passion to his unique way of showing affection, here are five of his most memorable quotes on love and relationships:

1. “I love you more than I love my own dick.”

Leave it to Kenny Powers to come up with a quote that’s both crude and endearing at the same time. While his assertion may not be the most eloquent expression of love, it certainly gets the point across – when it comes to the woman he loves, Kenny Powers is willing to put everything on the line.

2. “You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”

While this quote might seem like a dig at materialistic relationships, there’s actually a deeper insight here. Kenny Powers knows that love isn’t just about the feeling of being in love – it’s also about the little things that make a relationship special. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a bouquet of roses, the accessories of love are important symbols of affection.

3. “I’m not in love with you, but I’m open to the idea.”

When Kenny Powers says this, he’s not exactly expressing his undying devotion. But what this quote really speaks to is the idea of keeping an open mind in relationships. Kenny is willing to consider the possibility of falling in love with someone – and that willingness to be vulnerable is an important part of any relationship.

4. “I’m not ashamed to say I love you to another man.”

When Kenny Powers says this, he’s not talking about romantic love – instead, he’s talking about the brotherly love he shares with his friend and fellow baseball player, Stevie. While some might scoff at the idea of two grown men expressing affection for each other, Kenny is unashamed of his feelings. It’s a reminder that love can come in many different forms and shouldn’t be limited by societal expectations.

5. “I’m trying to be a better man, for you and for us and for all the kids.”

Finally, in this quote Kenny Powers demonstrates his commitment to personal growth and bettering himself for the sake of his relationships. While he’s not always the most mature or responsible person, he’s willing to put in the work to become a better partner and classroom aide. It’s a reminder that even flawed individuals can improve themselves and their relationships with effort and dedication.

Love and relationships may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Kenny Powers, but these quotes demonstrate that even the most unlikely romantic can have something valuable to teach us about how to give and receive love.

The Importance of Confidence in Sports

One of Kenny’s most iconic quotes is “I’m the man with the ball, I’m the man that can throw it faster than f*ck. So that is why I am better than everyone else in the world, kiss my ass.” This quote perfectly illustrates Kenny’s belief in the power of confidence when it comes to sports. He truly believes that he is the best, and that belief fuels his success. Kenny knows that in order to be successful in sports, you have to truly believe in yourself and your abilities. Without confidence, you’ll never be able to perform at your best.

The Importance of Dedication in Sports

Kenny Powers is also a huge believer in the power of dedication when it comes to sports. In one memorable quote, he says “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.” This quote perfectly sums up Kenny’s belief that truly successful athletes put in the time and effort to perfect their craft. They don’t just work out to look good or stay healthy – they’re completely dedicated to the game. If you want to be successful in sports, you have to be willing to put in the time and effort to get better.

Never Giving Up On Your Dreams

Another important lesson that Kenny Powers teaches us is the importance of never giving up on your dreams. Despite being a washed-up former athlete, Kenny never stops believing that he can make a comeback. In one memorable scene, he says “If at first you don’t succeed, then maybe you just suck.” This quote perfectly illustrates Kenny’s relentless determination to succeed, no matter how many setbacks he faces. It’s an important lesson for anyone who has ever been told that their dreams are out of reach – never give up, no matter how hard things get.

The Importance of Hard Work in Sports

Of course, dedication alone isn’t enough to succeed in sports – you also have to put in the hard work. In one memorable quote, Kenny says “I play every game like it’s my last. And one day, I’m gonna be right.” This quote perfectly sums up Kenny’s belief that you should give 110% effort every time you step onto the field or court. You never know when your last game will be, so you have to make every moment count. True success in sports requires not just dedication, but also a willingness to work hard every single day.

The Power of Mental Toughness in Sports

Kenny Powers also knows that sports aren’t just about physical strength and skill – they also require mental toughness. In one memorable quote, he says “I’m not trying to be the best at exercising, I’m trying to be the best at baseball. And sometimes that requires you to take a pitch to the face.” This quote perfectly illustrates Kenny’s willingness to endure pain and keep pushing forward, no matter how hard things get. In sports, mental toughness is just as important as physical strength. You have to be able to handle the pressure and keep your head in the game, even when things get tough.

The Importance of Perseverance in Sports

Finally, Kenny Powers reminds us that sports are full of ups and downs, and that perseverance is key to long-term success. In one memorable quote, he says “I’m not a goddamn farmer, I’m a baseball player. I play baseball for a living. I don’t grow crops. I don’t raise cows. That’s the farmer. I play baseball.” This quote perfectly illustrates Kenny’s determination to stick with his chosen profession, no matter what obstacles come his way. Sports are full of setbacks and disappointments, but true champions never give up. If you want to succeed in sports, you have to be willing to persevere through the tough times.

1. Kenny Powers’ Vulgar Humor

Kenny Powers is no stranger to dropping the F-bomb and saying some of the most vulgar things you can imagine. But, as offensive as his language may be, it’s impossible not to chuckle at some of his one-liners. For example, who could forget his gem of a quote: “I play real sports. I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.” It’s a hilarious jab at those who take working out way too seriously.

2. Kenny Powers’ Arrogance

Kenny Powers is confident to the point of arrogance. He believes he’s the best at everything, and he’s not afraid to let the world know it. His sense of entitlement leads to some pretty ridiculous quotes, like when he says “I’m not a role model. I’m a…gonist.” But even though his arrogance can be infuriating, there’s something oddly charming about his unwavering self-belief.

3. Kenny Powers’ Wisdom

Believe it or not, Kenny Powers has some moments of deep insight. Yes, he may say them in a crass and vulgar way, but his words can still resonate with us. For example, he once said, “Life is too short to not go for what you want.” It’s a simple sentiment, but it’s also a reminder that we shouldn’t be afraid to chase our dreams.

4. Kenny Powers’ Motivation

Kenny Powers may be an egotistical maniac, but he’s also a great motivator. He’s constantly pushing himself to be better, and he expects the same from those around him. His quote, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to be the best,” is a reminder that sometimes we need to be a little ruthless in pursuing our goals.

5. Kenny Powers’ Heartbreak

Despite his tough exterior, Kenny Powers has a softer side. He’s been through some heartbreaking moments in his life, and his vulnerability shines through in his quotes. When he says, “Sometimes you gotta embrace the suck,” it’s a reminder that we all have to endure tough times, but that doesn’t mean we can’t come out the other side stronger.

6. Kenny Powers’ Relationships

Kenny Powers may not always be the best boyfriend or friend, but he does have some moments of genuine connection with others. When he tells April, “You’re the love of my life, and the mother of my child,” it’s a reminder that there is love and compassion behind his bravado.

7. Kenny Powers’ Legacy

Kenny Powers may not have left a lasting impression on the baseball world, but he certainly left his mark on pop culture. His quotes have become legendary among fans of the show, and they continue to inspire and entertain people years after the show ended. Kenny Powers may be fictional, but his influence lives on.


Whether you love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Kenny Powers has some unforgettable quotes. From his vulgar humor to his words of wisdom, he’s left us with some memorable lines that we can’t help but repeat. At the end of the day, his quotes are a reminder that life is meant to be enjoyed, laughed at, and a little bit absurd.

FAQ and Conclusions

Are you a fan of Kenny Powers and his hilarious quotes? Well, you’re not alone! Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about him:

1. Who is Kenny Powers?

Kenny Powers is a character from the television series Eastbound & Down, played by actor Danny McBride. He is a former professional baseball player, known for his crude behavior and outrageous personality.

2. What are some of Kenny Powers’ best quotes?

Some of his most memorable quotes include “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising,” “I’m not a role model. Unless you’re talking about role model for how to live your life with no fucks given,” and “I’m a bulletproof tiger, man.”

3. Is Kenny Powers based on a real person?

No, Kenny Powers is a fictional character created by McBride and his writing partner, Jody Hill.

4. What is Eastbound & Down?

Eastbound & Down is a TV series that aired from 2009 to 2013 on HBO. It follows the story of Kenny Powers as he tries to make a comeback to Major League Baseball.

5. What makes Kenny Powers such a memorable character?

Many people find his over-the-top personality and irreverent sense of humor to be hilarious and entertaining.

6. Why do people find Kenny Powers’ quotes so relatable?

Some people might relate to his no-nonsense approach to life, while others might appreciate his willingness to speak his mind and not worry about what other people think.

7. What is Kenny Powers’ most famous catchphrase?

His most famous catchphrase is probably “You’re fucking out!” which he often shouted while pitching in baseball games.

8. Is there a Kenny Powers merchandise?

Yes, there are many Kenny Powers merchandise available online and off, including t-shirts, hats, and even action figures.

9. Will there be more Kenny Powers content in the future?

As of now, there are no plans for more television series or movies featuring Kenny Powers, but fans are always hoping for more laughs from the character.

10. How can I watch Eastbound & Down?

You can watch all episodes of Eastbound & Down on HBO Max.

In conclusion, Kenny Powers is a character that has captured the hearts of many television viewers with his outrageous quotes and unforgettable personality. Although the show has ended, his legacy lives on through merchandise and unforgettable moments that will stay with fans forever.

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